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Let's Talk about the Patriarchy in our Relationships

Unpopular opinion on gender incoming:

I saw this sweet little reel the other day where a woman, who had been sick for a few days, was thanking her partner for taking on ALL the childcare and household responsibilities.

I made the mistake of looking at the comments and I CANNOT tell you how many of them were saying things like, "excuse me, this is the bare minimum he should be doing. Don't thank him!" and "women are never recognized for this work. Why would you thank him? We never get thanks" etc etc.

And guys. I get it. The patriarchy sucks.

We women not only DO a lot of the tasks, the one's we don't, we make the lists for and make sure it actually happens. I'll write another post on this another time, because it does deserve the space. But that's not what this article is about.

The logic I gathered from the majority of these comments is that because women don’t get praised for those daily tasks, because they are just the things we do, men shouldn’t either. They should just DO them. (Again, I don’t disagree with that last part-so long as she doesn’t have to make a list for them to happen)

But I just can’t help but feel they’re missing the point. Because I don’t want to live in a world where we lower men to the standards women have been living with. I hate these standards. They’re bull 💩

Instead, how about we start seeing and hearing the invisible labor women do? How about we show gratitude for the small, daily tasks that keep our households afloat?

Praise your partner for keeping the house clean, for cooking dinner, for watching the kids. Because THAT is the world I want to build. One where NO ONE is taken for granted and EVERYONE’s labor is valued.

I made a series of couples to-do lists that, honestly contain a lot of the invisible labor women are already doing.

But she didn’t have to make this list.

Start changing the system by changing YOUR system. I challenge the male partners out there to download this checklist and start doing them without any initiation from your partner. It will be a step in the right direction:

Take it a step further and get the whole set along with the questions you need to ask on the regular to meet all your relationship goals:


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