Research shows that the happiest couples recall pleasant earlier memories from their partnership. These memories can serve as an anchor for your relationship, a reminder of what you might have forgotten. ”Oh yeah, that’s what I fell in love with…”
What I see a lot in my office, are two people who really do love and respect one another, but neither partner actually feels it in the relationship. This is often because there is not enough positivity in the relationship.
Remember how we talked about that ratio last week? Yup. It's showing itself again here. Taking time to recall the things we love about our partner is a great way to increase our 5:1 ratio of positives to negatives.
How often do you notice something your partner has done that really bugs you?
How often do you naturally think about how incredible your partner is and how much you love them? Partners who are at their best are MORE likely to do the second more often. But they're not doing it BECAUSE they're happier with one another; they're doing it and that act is CREATING happiness between them.
Do you remember when you met? Can you recall what drew you to your partner? If what comes up are negative narratives, take a little time to reframe it for yourself. There's a reason you were drawn to this person. What was it? What did they do that made you smile?
Go down memory lane and share it with your partner. You'll be fostering your friendship base, and will likely have a lovely evening together as a result!
Remember, partnerships are made up of the small things, done daily. If you get in the habit of doing this exercise every single day, you will see BIG shifts in turning your relationship into a peaceful partnership full of passion and play.